There are going to be a lot of people in life who will send you the message that there is something wrong with who you are.
People who will tell you to “be quiet” or “tone it down” or “stop making a big deal.” People who will invalidate your experiences and tell you that what you’re feeling is wrong. People who will tell you what you “should” and “shouldn’t” be. People who will tell you you are “too loud” or “too overwhelming” or “too emotional” or “too needy” or “too much”.
Despite what these people say, I need you to know that who you are is exactly enough.
You are smart enough and good enough and talented enough.
You are brave enough and strong enough and kind enough.
You are all of who you are meant to be.
You don’t have to change for anyone.
Your feelings are inherently valid because if you feel something and it impacts you, it is automatically and non-negotiably important and true. No one else lives in your body or experiences your life, and so no one, ever, has the right to invalidate your feelings.
I need you to know that it’s okay to be loud.
It’s okay to take up space.
It’s okay to be angry and make a big deal about things that impact you.
It’s okay to be emotional and scared.
It’s okay to cry and hurt and feel.
And it’s okay to not be okay.
You have every right to use your voice and speak up. You have every right to refuse to be quiet about something that matters to you. You deserve to be seen and heard and acknowledged. You deserve to do what makes you happy and participate in life in a way that is conducive to your authentic self. You don’t ever have to compromise yourself or your values in order to please someone else. Your wellbeing and happiness is a priority.
It may seem easier to stay silent and be who other people want you to be.
It may feel safer to quiet your voice and tone yourself down for the sake of others.
But, I promise you that it’s not.
Compromising who you are in order to gain acceptance from others doesn’t feel good. It’s painful and wounding. It causes shame and guilt. And ultimately, it forces you to live a lie. It prevents you from growing into the person you are meant to be, it stops you from fully engaging in life, and it limits your happiness.
That isn’t any kind of life to live.
You deserve, so, so much more.